How You See Me
by wolfpawn
Summary: Imagine Loki Prompt Imagine Loki refusing and just generally avoiding sex during your pregnancy. You confront him, thinking that he doesn't find you attractive anymore, that he's repulsed by your body now. He replies that he's afraid that he'll hurt you and the baby.


"Goodnight love." Was all he stated with his back to you as he gripped the blanket and got comfortable.

You willed the tears to remain at bay as you rubbed your growing stomach. It was not too big of yet, but it was clear, there was a child within it, growing rapidly as time went by. You were elated when finally, after wishing for so long, you were finally bearing your beloved Loki's child, but as soon as you started to show; Loki lost interest in you in bed. He did not touch you, caress you, and by the Gods did he not take pleasure with you as he had before, and it crushed you. Being pregnant was hardly the sexiest thing in the world, and with your husband withholding any manner of intimacy, you had become utterly miserable, feeling angry at him, but much to your own shame, also at the infant growing within you, whom you had begun to resent. It had been the catalyst for the change, and no amount of attempt to convince your brain to not blame it was working.

A small sniffle escapes, as do a few tears, turning quickly, you try to hide them from Loki, but there is little point. "Darling?"

Taking a breath before answering, you refused to turn around. "Yes?" Your voice as calm as you could make it.

"Could you give me some more of the blanket please?" His voice was utterly neutral.

Unable to take anymore, you threw the bed sheets at him and rose from the bed, a sob escaping you as you did so. Grabbing a cloak that was hanging from the door, you stormed out of the room and into the reading room to the side of the chambers. Biting on the palm of your hand, you did everything you could to prevent yourself from wailing as you cried. He did not care, not in the slightest. There was no way for him to not have realised you were crying, and he clearly was more interested in a blasted blanket. It was hard to decide which was worse, his indifference or the anger you felt at a small little being, not yet even born for making him act in such a manner.

As though to add to your misery, you felt the little thing nudge within you. Its first movements. Placing a hand over where you had felt the movement, you cried harder, hating yourself for thinking badly of your own child.

"Darling?" The voice startled you, looking up, you saw Loki standing over you in just a pair of sleep pants and his long leather coat, his bare chest showing. His eyes widened when he finally saw the tears that streaked both your cheeks. "What's wrong, is it the child?" He knelt on the floor, his hand timidly trying to rest over your slightly swollen midriff. He pulled it back as you flinched away from him. "What ever it is sweetheart, we will persevere, just please tell me." The tears continued to fall, the look on your face scaring him.

"Like you do not know." You sniffed.

Loki frowned; he could not place an incident that would have warranted such heartbreak in your features. "I don't." He admitted. "What have I done? Please, please tell me."

Anger consumed you even more, rising to your feet you went to storm off again, but he pre-empted it this time and blocked your path. "Move." You ordered angrily.

"No, no you need to speak to me." He stood tall. "You cannot run from this. You have to speak with me."

"I…"

"What? Tell me."

"Why?" You were too scared to look at him.

"Why what my love?" His voice was calm, glad that you were opening up, even if you required some more prodding for it to all come into the open.

"Is it because of the child?"

He frowned. "Is what because of the child?" He looked at your stomach, proud of the way his child was making your stomach grow, but worried what could be wrong with it.

"You taking a mistress."

Loki's eyes widened almost comically had it not been for the severity of the situation. "I…What? What are you on about?" He asked, looking at you in shock.

"If you are not laying with me, you have to laying with someone. I know you Loki, you cannot go two days without some form of gratification. For Norn's sake, that's how we got into this predicament." You indicated to your stomach. "So since you refuse to even risk touching me, it is clear you are finding your pleasure elsewhere."

"I have not touched another woman." Loki became angered at the accusation. "Have I given any sign of another?"

"You will not touch me." You roared at him.

"That is because I cannot." He shouted back. You froze, staring at him. "I have not touched anyone, I have had to alleviate my yearnings, daily in the confines of the bathing chambers." He admitted.

"Why can you not?" You asked, brow raised, still highly suspicious.

"What if…If I…"

"Say it Loki."

"I am scared." He seemed ashamed.

That startled you "Of what?"

"What if I…Hurt it, or you?"

You eyed him carefully. "What exactly do you envisage doing?" He looked at you confused. "Had you planned on swinging from the canopy of the bed onto me. Were you intending on doing something utterly mad?" You laughed at the ridiculousness of it.

Loki could not help the bemused look on his face. "I apologise for worrying about harming my child." He snarked, earning him a small jestful clip across the head. "Did you honestly think I would do such a thing?" He asked, saddened.

"You won't touch me."

"I cannot." He sighed. "If…If I touch you, I get so frustrated, it makes it harder. But I would never…There could only be you." He stated. Taking you in his arms, his kissed your forehead before his lips made their way to yours. "Only you." He kissed you again.

"So it is not that I am…"

"That you are what, my love?" He asked, looking into your eyes.

"Repulsive?" The word came out as a sob.

"What…Are you serious?" He looked down into your eyes, tears now filling his own. "I could never…" He pulled away for a moment, not wanting you to see him cry. "Is this what you have thought? Is this what you have been thinking?"

"My usually affectionate and very much insatiable husband does not touch me, what else am I supposed to think?" You countered.

"I would never think such a thing. I just did not want to hurt the child."

"You would not have."

"I could."

"No, you would not. Eir stated such. If you actually listened, you would know." You snapped, not in the mood for an argument.

"When did she say this?"

"When you were too occupied with whatever was in the corner of her rooms as she checked me over, the last time you even bothered to come to a visit to her."

"I…" Loki sighed. "She was checking your breasts, I had to focus on something else."

"What?"

"Well she was looking at your breasts to check them, they were so big, I could feel myself getting…bothered." He tried to explain. "I…" It was peculiar to see him blush.

"So you don't find me repulsive?" You asked timidly.

"The issue is that I find you all the more attractive now." He admitted. "You are so beautiful my love. I cannot believe you doubted that." He came over and caressed your cheek.

"I miss you." You admitted.

"And I you." He smiled sadly. "So, there is a manner for us to…"

You leant onto your tiptoes. "You just need to control that rough side of yourself." You kissed him.

"So that's a no to swinging off the canopy then?" He grinned, kissing you back, bringing you back to bed and placing his hand on your stomach. "It is growing well."

"It moved." You informed him. "Just before you came in. I felt it move."

"That's my child." He grinned proudly, placing you on the bed, kissing you passionately. "Now I need to remind my beautiful wife just how much I adore her." Making sure not to press down on your stomach, he began to litter kisses along your neck.


End file.
